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Loosely Literal: Donald Trump’s Summer Reading List

Posted on Fri, Jun 3 2016 9:00 am by Sally Franson

 

I have heard from hundreds of thousand of people asking me what I’m reading this summer. Believe me. People are very, very, very excited to hear what I’m reading. What I’m reading is amazing, truly amazing. My friend who’s a famous writer, he says it’s the most amazing reading list he’s ever seen. It’s also not small. I guarantee there’s nothing small about me, nothing. Men read faster than women. Dozens of people have told me this, expert people. I don’t know, that’s just what people are telling me.

What am I reading? I’ll tell you what I’m reading. Amazing books. Very, very, very amazing books. Believe me. Stories? No, I don’t like stories. Stories are what got us into this situation in the first place. America used to be a great country. Obama liked stories, and look what happened to our country! He’s really not a smart person. Obama’s book club, they only read chick lit. Him and Hillary. Where did I hear this? I don’t know, that’s just what people are telling me. Someone has to be buying chick lit.

What exactly am I reading? I read facts. Amazing facts. Ask me anything, I probably know it. What am I reading? I’ll tell you what I’m reading. More like, what am I not reading. History, maps, I’ve been reading a lot of maps, a lot of very, very, very amazing stuff about the Middle East. Biographies, I’m reading a lot of biographies. Reading a biography by Michael D’Antonio. It’s about me. Very, very, very good book. Mike, he’s a smart guy. What’s the title? I’ll tell you the title, it has an amazing title, it’s gotten very, very, very good reviews. I haven’t read the reviews, but when it came out people called me up and told me about them. Mike’s one of those guys, he’s really, really not stupid. No Rubio, if you know what I mean.

Books by women? Sure I read books by women. Lots of books, amazing books. The ones that don’t play the woman card, they can write a good book. Which ones? The ones, believe me, the ones...Meliana’s going to write a book. A children’s book, about making America great again. It’s going to be a very, very, very good book.

When I’m not reading books, I’m writing books. I’ve written hundreds of books, believe me. Thousands of people have told me I’m the greatest writer who’s ever lived, I don’t know, that’s just what people are telling me. Why read books if you can write books? The best writers, they don’t read. How do I know this? Some people don’t have to read. I don’t know, that’s just what people are telling me.


 

Sally Franson received her MFA in creative writing from the University of Minnesota and was a 2012 GRPP Fellow. Her work has recently appeared in WitnessRoomelimae, and Bartleby Snopes, among others, and she was the winner of the Loft’s Fall Writing Contest in 2012. She is also a recipient of a 2014 Minnesota State Arts Board Artist Initiative Grant. In addition to teaching and finishing her first book, Sally is a contributing writer toThe Fiddleback and Paper Dartssallyfranson.com